Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Dog Poem...

When I read this poem I laughed so hard that I cried! Thought you might like this and it may remind you of your canine companion...

"I lie belly up...

In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts — I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man — come to kill us all —
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot —
Sniff this and weep.

I Hate my choke chain —
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot — no greater bliss — well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do."

Love this, especially the part about the service workers being out "to kill us all". It just reminded me so much of Rocky and Shirley. The only part I don't like about the poem, is about the choke collar. I am against them and do not use choke collars, obviously. If you are kind and patient, you can teach your dog anything with positive reinforcement, not by abusive methods. When all else fails...use treats! Works every time. Works on people too. How do you think my parents taught me things like potty training? There is a reason I was reading at age three! Age three and high blood pressure from all the "treats". All kidding aside, I really was reading at age three. Fun fact about the Dirty Vegan. Why am I not working as a mad scientist you ask? I was born to be an animal rights activist and be the voice for my animal pals. And for now, the Reading-At-Age-Three-Animal-Loving-Fat-Kid is signing off.

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