How to Eat Vegan in the Apocalypse: a Home-style Recipe

Have you ever seen that show Apocalypse man?
All he really eats are canned foods he finds around the abandoned city, things like cat food. He never addresses being a vegan, natural foodie during the Apocalypse. So today, I'm going to give you a great idea for a comforting vegan meal, that is Apocalypse-friendly!

As soon as the shit goes down, head to the natural foods store. I'm sure no one will be there, because everyone figures there will be an abundance of grass and twigs outside after the catastrophic event takes place. It will be our little secret that there is actual good food in there - wink, wink. Grab a bunch of those pouches with brown rice, quinoa, and grains (you know the ones that say, "microwave in the pouch for 90 seconds"), then head to a Target or Walmart (the grocery is too obvious of a choice - really who is going to go to a place that sells targets and walls?). You might have to fight others in the bean isle, but once you win, grab yourself a can of black beans. In that same isle, you will find canned vegetable mixes that are natural and seasoned, especially if you are in a Super Target or Walmart. In my mock-Apocalypse scenario, I chose a can of seasoned okra, tomatoes, and corn. If you are concerned with your health still, read the back of the label, some cans of seasoned mixed vegetables do contain preservatives. The same goes for the black beans. If at this point, you don't give a flying fudgesicle about keeping your beautiful vegan body healthy, do what you gotta do. Now, you will have to find a bowl, which won't be hard in a store like this. Like really, who would be looting bowls at a time like this? Find one that is fire-safe. *Please note, the Dirty Vegan does not encourage or condone looting. We are talking about a fictional scenario that probably will not occur in our lifetimes (insert foot in mouth if the Mayans are right, hello 2012!)* Now is probably a good time to get a can opener and hang on to it. You will really need this now. Also, it might be a wise idea to cruise down the camping isle and get yourself some supplies. *Side note: After you enjoy your delicious home-style meal, you will want to get to a library. At the library, grab a book that tells you what plants are edible and safe to eat, you will be needing this also* Find a safe place for your fire. Set up one of those hangy things that you see hobos heat their beans on. Start a fire to cook your food. Don't ask me how to do this, I'm not a boy scout, I'm a vegan food blogger. Open pouch of grains, can of beans, and can of mixed seasoned vegetables, and combine in bowl. Heat food to your desired temperature, and enjoy!

Here is the full recipe:

Survival Home-style Vegan Meal #1 (yes, this means I will be doing another one of these ridiculous posts in the future)


2 cups rice/ quinoa/ grain combination
1 15oz can black beans
1 15oz can seasoned mixed vegetables

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Saute a Cozy Side!

Broccoli Rabe (also known as Broccoletti or Rapini), is a neat green that is in the mustard family and the same species as turnip. This vegetable has leafy greens that feel almost like a cross between kale and collard greens when raw. They also contain small bunches that resembles little broccoli bundles. Broccoli Rabe is chock full of vitamins and minerals like Vitamins A, C, and K and also contains iron, calcium, and potassium. These delicious and nutritious greens are commonly made by Italian families like mine! So I did grow up eating this wonderful food. This is an easy way to prepare Broccoli Rabe while making the most of its flavors and keeping some of it's bitterness (and boiling out some of it). No one likes overly bitter veggies. Think bitterness similar to the way arugula is. You're going to want to keep it so its pleasant, not overpowering. I compare the bitterness to arugula, but definitely not the flavor - Broccoli Rabe is in a flavor class of it's own - uniquely delightful!

Try My 'Easy Italian Style Sauteed Broccoli Rabe' Recipe


1 bunch of Broccoli Rabe (about 4 cups)
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp garlic, minced
Sea salt & pepper to taste

In a large pot, bring salted water to a boil. Trim the woody or tough ends of the broccoli rabe, and place it in the water once it's boiling. Boil for 5- 8 minutes, or until stems are noticeably softer. Drain and place in a saute pan with olive oil and garlic. Saute for about 10 minutes on medium heat. Season with sea salt and pepper to taste. Serve as a side with tofu, rice, or to your favorite dish. Broccoli rabe also tastes great served over pasta. Enjoy!

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Indian inspired Dish

I love the spices and flavors used in Indian cooking, and I was inspired by Indian cuisine while creating this recipe. I thought of dishes like Keema and ones with Paneer when making this vegan version.The ingredient's flavors all complement each other, making this meal tasty and mouthwatering!

2 tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 14oz container firm tofu, drained & cubed
6 small carrots, chopped
1 15oz can sweet peas
26oz tomato sauce
2 cups unsweetened vegan milk (you can use coconut milk if you want that flavor, I used almond milk to make this sauce thick and creamy)
1 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp curry powder
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
sea salt to taste

Heat large skillet (I use a wok when working with big recipes and lots of ingredients like this) with olive oil and saute onion on medium heat until it begins to soften. Add tofu and saute until tofu browns. Add carrots and saute until they begin to soften. Add the remainder ingredients and heat until bubbly. Let simmer for 30 minutes on low heat. Season with salt to taste. Serve over rice and/ or with naan. Enjoy!

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Polish Inspired Dish

For this recipe, I was inspired by Polish dishes like Kapusta and Bigos. This meal is so warm and cozy! Perfect for that comforting meal we all crave after a long day. It is so easy to prepare, so that is a bonus also! 

Dirty Vegan Cabbage Dish

2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup mushrooms, sliced
1 large head cabbage, sliced
6 oz can tomato paste
1/2 cup water
1 bay leaf
pinch dried thyme
9 oz veggie "meat" (I used Gardein Beefless Tips)
sea salt & pepper to taste

In a large saucepan, heat olive oil on medium heat. Saute onion for about 2 minutes, then add mushrooms. Once soft, begin to add cabbage, tomato paste, water, bay leaf, and thyme. Cook, stirring occasionally until cabbage is soft, then add veggie "meat". Saute on low until cabbage and meat are soft and well cooked. Enjoy with bread, over pasta or rice, or alone. Yum!

 Warm, comforting, and totally delicious!
W zdrowym ciele, zdrowy duch!

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Crockpot Eggplant Stew

Nothing is more comforting in the fall, than a nice warm stew. And nothing is easier than cooking food in a crockpot. If you are in favor of yummy, vegan comfort food but are low on spare time, this recipe is for you! 

28oz can tomatoes, (chunky w/ liquid)
1 small onion, chopped
1 cup sliced mushrooms
1 large eggplant, cut into chunks
1 cup vegetable broth
1 tsp Italian seasoning
2 tbsp olive oil
Sea salt & pepper to taste
(Top w/ vegan cheese if desired)

Place all ingredients in crockpot and cook on low for 5- 6 hours, or on high for 3- 4. Serve with crusty bread or with vegan cheese sprinkled on top. Enjoy!

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MoFo Du Jour? Roasted Butternut Squash!

"Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter." -Carol Bishop Hipps

I haven't met many people who don't favor, or at the very least, appreciate fall. It is such a wonderful season, especially in New England. As a writer, vegan chef, and baker, I love all seasons, especially autumn! Autumn allows me to do what I do best, sit in big cushy chairs, at home or at coffee shops, work on my literary projects, and also bake and cook to my heart's content! The heat of the summer is no longer a challenge to me. As a vegan chef, I do indeed enjoy all seasons, especially for what they can bring to my culinary creativity. However, autumn is in my heart all year long. This next recipe can be enjoyed other times of the year, but I'm sure you will treasure this in the fall, as do I. Just the smell of this squash roasting in the oven, lifts the spirits and sends comfort and holiday feelings all throughout the home. Now, that is what I love about what I do!

Fall For My 'Buttery Maple Roasted Butternut Squash' Recipe

1 butternut squash
2 tbsp olive oil
sea salt & pepper to taste
2 tbsp vegan butter (like Earth Balance), melted
2 tbsp pure maple syrup

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Clean and dry your squash then cut in half lengthwise. Scoop out the seeds then drizzle with olive oil. Spread olive oil into the flesh side. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, then place squash fleshy side down, in a baking pan. Roast for 45- 60 minutes, or until squash can be easily pierced all the way through. Carefully remove from oven and turn over, fleshy side up (a good quality pair of tongs and using oven mitts works well for turning these over). Mix melted vegan butter and maple syrup together in a small bowl. Then drizzle that all over the fleshy cut part of the squash. Roast for an additional 5 more minutes. You can scoop this out when it cools some, mash, or serve it right out of the skin (like I did)! Enjoy!

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Green Stir Fry

I should have saved this one for St. Patrick's Day...but what the hell!

Go Green With My 'Green Tofu Curry Stir Fry' Recipe

2 tbsp olive oil
1/2 medium onion, chopped
2 cups frozen snap peas
1 container of tofu, drained and cubed
2 cups fresh spinach, chopped
1 tsp curry powder
2 tbsp Bragg's Liquid Aminos (or Tamari, Shoyu, or Soy Sauce)
1/2 tsp black pepper
pinch of sea salt


In a wok or skillet, heat olive oil on medium heat. Saute onion until aromas are released and onion begins to soften, then add frozen snap peas. Cook snap peas until thawed, stirring frequently. Next add tofu and stir fry for about 3- 5 minutes before adding spinach, Bragg's and pepper. Combine and stir fry for 3- 5 minutes. Season with salt before removing from heat. Serve over rice or noodles. Enjoy!

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